Men Get Depressed Too: Raising Awareness During Men’s Mental Health Month
When we talk about depression, the cultural image that often comes to mind is someone openly crying, withdrawn, or visibly sad. But depression doesn’t always look that way—especially in men.
As a therapist who works closely with men, including veterans, first responders, and others who’ve been conditioned to "tough it out," I can tell you: men get depressed too. They just aren’t always given the tools—or the permission—to talk about it.
That’s why Men’s Mental Health Month matters. It’s a chance to challenge outdated expectations, raise awareness about how depression can manifest differently in men, and offer resources for healing.
The Invisible Struggle
One of the most heartbreaking truths I hear from male clients is: “I didn’t even know I was depressed.”
That’s because men are often taught that emotional pain should be ignored, numbed, or "handled privately." As a result, many men don’t label their experience as depression. They just know something feels off—maybe they’re angrier than usual, more irritable, drinking more, or feeling disconnected from the people they love.
In clinical terms, depression in men often shows up differently than it does in women. While women may express sadness, guilt, or worthlessness, men are more likely to experience:
Irritability or rage
Risk-taking behaviors
Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
Physical symptoms (like headaches, digestive issues, or chronic pain)
Substance use or overworking
Withdrawal or emotional numbness
These patterns often get missed—not just by loved ones, but even by doctors or therapists who aren’t trained to look deeper.
Stigma Still Runs Deep
Stigma is one of the biggest barriers to men seeking mental health support.
The myth that “real men don’t cry” or that emotions are a sign of weakness is not just outdated—it’s dangerous. It prevents men from reaching out until they’re at a crisis point, or worse, until it’s too late.
According to the CDC, men in the U.S. die by suicide at a rate nearly four times higher than women. Many of those men had untreated depression. They weren’t broken—they were suffering silently.
We have to shift the narrative from “being strong means staying silent” to “being strong means getting help when you need it.”
What Healing Looks Like
When men do step into therapy, they often carry a deep fear of judgment. They worry they’ll be told they’re weak or broken. But therapy isn’t about labeling—it’s about understanding and equipping.
At Resilient Roots Counseling, I often work with men who’ve never been in therapy before. We focus on:
Normalizing their experience: You’re not “too emotional” or “too angry”—you’re responding to years of internalized pressure, unspoken grief, or trauma.
Building emotional language: Many men never had the space to learn how to name what they’re feeling. We start small—frustrated, lonely, exhausted—and build from there.
Developing tools for regulation: We use evidence-based approaches like EMDR, somatic therapy, and CBT to help manage symptoms, process pain, and reconnect to self.
Creating space for identity: Whether it’s navigating masculinity, fatherhood, cultural expectations, or intersectional identities like being LGBTQIA+ or a veteran, we explore how those shape mental health.
Healing isn’t linear. But it is possible—and it doesn’t require you to change who you are. It just asks you to be real with where you are.
We need to change the narrative from “Real men don’t cry” to: Real men seek support.
How You Can Support the Men in Your Life
Whether you’re a partner, friend, sibling, or colleague—your presence matters. Here are some ways to support a man who might be struggling with depression:
Ask open-ended questions like: “You’ve seemed off lately—want to talk about it?”
Normalize therapy by sharing your own experiences or encouraging help-seeking behavior.
Avoid minimizing with phrases like “man up” or “it could be worse.” These only deepen shame.
Hold space without fixing—sometimes the most powerful support is just listening.
Offer concrete help, like researching therapists or going with them to the first appointment if they want.
A Final Word to Men Reading This
If you’re reading this and feeling something stir—maybe a sense of recognition, or even discomfort—know this: You are not alone. You are not weak. You are not failing.
Depression is not a moral failure. It’s a health issue, and it deserves care just like anything else.
You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart to ask for help. Therapy isn’t about becoming someone different—it’s about coming home to yourself. One conversation, one breath, one moment at a time.
You Deserve to Heal
This Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s rewrite the story. Let’s make it one where men feel safe to speak, supported when they struggle, and empowered to seek help. If you or someone you love is ready to take that next step, we’re here to walk with you.
At Resilient Roots Counseling and Consulting, we offer trauma-informed, affirming care for men across North Carolina, South Carolina, and Colorado—virtually and in-person.
Because men get depressed too. And they deserve to heal, too.
